Figuring It Out
by fangirly
Summary: DISCLAIMER! I do not own Divergent. The girl is Abigail, the main character. T later themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Please forgive me if this is bad. This will be my first "published" story! I want to know what you think. Thanks!- fangirly**

**Chapter One, in which there are a few characters... introduced.**

I wake up to the buzz of an alarm. I can't wait for school! I yawn in secrecy, as I walk to the bathroom. I shower off, and pay close attention to my hair and hands. I didn't see my parents last night, and I have to wash off the pen on my hands. I run to my room, shut the door, really fast yet quietly, and stare into the small, hidden mirror I keep shoved between the sheets and the mattress on my bed. I pull on my Abnegation Grays, as I call them, and shove a colored jacket into my bookbag.

The cool grey hallway seems so familiar. I walk into my living room, admiring the symmetry of my senseful, rectangular grey house. I grab my bookbag, and chug my Orange Juice. I run out of the door, saying, "I love you mom and dad! I'll see you later going to school, bye!" but all one sentence. Today... today I will see my best friend, Ava. School is where I can really be my self. I have no siblings to tattle about me, and none of my friends are Abnegation. I fact, the jacket I hid is yellow! The socks, hidden by the robe I wear, are black.

Today is the faction test day. I am nervous, which is a never. I see Ava in the hall, before she notices me. Then she sees me eyeballing her. The yellow and red all over her Amity body really complement her dirty blonde hair.

"Abigail! Abby!" She's calling me.

"Yes, Ava-Amity?"

Then she walks my way, laughing.

"Ha, Ha, as if," she says. "Are you ready for the Faction tests? I know what you're getting," she leans in to my ear, whispering, "Dauntless!" That's always been my nickname. I love it.

When she invited me over to her faction, for a sleepover, my parents were uneasy. They didn't trust her, and they knew that if anything happened to her, I would be devastated. We did have to ride the train to get there, anyways. They gave me a telephone. They knew I only had one pair of P.J.'s, and they were... not modest. They were from my early childhood, and I purposely let them grow small. I've always grown faster the anyone else my age, so I learned how to work my stuff, the right way. My parents didn't know what I was going to choose. Like the tests would change anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the longish wait. I am stunned because I already have one Follower, and I posted chapter one only a few days ago! Thanks! **I am stunned at how they announce the tests. Over the intercom. They never use that. Why now? They called us down by faction, because all of the factions pretty much take the same classes. There are even special classes, for each faction. This isn't that period.

Dauntless first. You could hear the feedback from the microphone. The principal obviously didn't turn it on mute. Next, Erudite. Then Candor and Amity. Guess who's last? Yours truly, Abnegation. We are always last. I asked why once, and my mom actually answered! Something about how it's selfless to be last, give up your seat, give away your lunch, and so on. Then I was sent to my room to reflect. This was two years ago. I used to be home schooled.

They called Ava down to the office, as Abnegation was called. I ripped off my jacket, and put it in my locker on the way down. I asked the teacher why, but then they called me. On my way down, I took off my socks and changed them to grey. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my positioned hair. I left one wisp of hair out and dangled it over my eye. I saw a grey robe headed that way too, so I quickly shoved the piece back into my hood. Then I noticed a small tinge of yellow fuzz on my robe. I rubbed it off quickly.

I had heard other names being called, one to a faction, all known best friends. What was happening? Were we in trouble for having friends outside of our factions? We all caught each other in the hallways. We all had no clue, but all the groups eventually just talked to each other. It was me and Ava, and the three boys from the other factions.

"Why'd ya loose the jacket, D? I gave it to you, now I only have the one, and that's the one I stole from mom! It doesn't even fit!"

"I didn't want to lose it-"

"MOMMMY!" The Erudite boy screamed. I glanced down the hallway. Oh shoot...


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this one's short. I thought it would add fantasist.**

I see Ava's mom before my own. I see mine seconds after she calls me, looking just as confused as I am. A shiver runs up my back as the principal comes out. I still have no clue what's happening. He calls us ten into his conference room.

"There is a top secret experiment you will be participating in. No ifs, and, or butts."

Then he leads us into our own, private rooms, with names on the doors. Room One: Joshua, J, and Eric. Room Two: Ava and Abigail. So we lined up as we were taught in front of the doors. Then he said, "You may now enter." The door opened, and Ava entered. I stood, waiting nervously. Then the test instructor said, "Well, is she coming or not?" So I stepped in. Into what, I don't know. They hooked us up onto the same machine we both drank from the vials, and the test started.


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry for not writing in a while. I have been so busy lately! I do go to school, you know. So, here we goooooooooooo! (r/r, please!)**

We wake up. We see no test administrator, so I sit up. She rushes in.

"You- you girls! You are traitors!"

"I don't underst~"

We look at the screen. Dauntless.

**Sorry to make this chapter short, I need to help my friend with something. I will write more today, I hope! :) ~ fangirly**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the gap in the story line, but this was an important chapter to me and I didn't want to lose the idea.**

"Well, I guess today is the day," I say over my shoulder to Ava. I look at her and she is as pale as a ghost.

"Hey, are you okay? You look nervous," I say. She doesn't respond.

For the last few months, I have waited for this moment to come. I have wanted to rebel against my parents by choosing Dauntless. Scratch that- my whole _life_ I've wanted this. I need this to be a part of me- even if no one but Ava expects it.

I walk confidently, chest and chin high in the air. _All of my eighteen years,_ I thought, _I have wanted this. I need to be first, but that's not how it works._

We get in line alphabetically. I am number Twenty-Two, which has always been my lucky number. Now, I guess it's even more lucky and special.

"Twenty-One people you have to wait on to destroy your family," Ava says. I smile, and whisper back, "I know right?" maniacally.

We wait a surprisingly long amount of time before it's Ava's turn. She turns, white as a piece of paper, and suddenly smiles. She gets her color back when she cuts her wrist and dribbles her blood on the sizzling coals. Then it's my turn.

I walk up to the man with the knife. It is a scalpel These bring up bad memories. When I was little, I had to have a rock cut out of my foot. I quickly slit my wrist and then I accidentally dripped my blood on the carpet between bowls. I frantically whip my wrist to the sizzling coals.

I run off and don't look back.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This is a special chapter in Ava's POV because I couldn't think of anything else and I thought it would be interesting. Sorry it's been a while, I have serious Writer's Block because of my cliffhanger :/. Here we goooooooooooo!**

_Oh my goodness. I just chose Dauntless, _I think to myself. _Abigail looks upset- where is she going?_

Abigail just ran out of the room. Where is she going- the Train!

I run out the doors after her. I spot her, crying, waiting for the train.

"Abigail! D! Are you okay? Why are you crying?" I scream. She replies through sobs.

"I- did it... I- abandoned... my own... family for... FOR WHAT!?" She screamed. Then she looked up with a strange twisted smile.

"I am brave. Brave enough to leave the house I was not happy in... now I think that's courage, don't you think, Ava?" She says. Then she giggles. I'm freaking out.

"Ummmmm Abby? 'Abigail the Dauntless'? You in there?" I say in the hopes she'll snap out of this weird mood... thing she has going on.

Instead, she snaps her head, partaking in a maniacal laugh. I can't help myself- even though rude- I realizes suddenly, along with me, the transfers are leaving in the order they were called in, which means Dauntless first and foremost. They run like wild hooligans towards us. I scream- and notice the train. What do we do?

One of the Dauntless born initiates shows me how to get onto the train. First she jogs, then throws her body onto the train. I copy her exact movements. Abigail copies me and it all falls into place.

Abigail sits next to me in the car we jumped into.

"Hey," she says.

"Forgive me?"

"For what?" I reply.

"You did nothing wrong, I expected a mood swing! You made a huge choice, you know?"

"Still friends over that episode?" A crazy question she asks.

"Yes, as always." I reply. We burst out into laughter. I am glad it was laughs, I felt tears bubbling deep within me.

**Sorry, guys. Lots of dialect in this chapter. R/R appreciated.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I have terrible writer's block, but I managed to squeeze this out! Thank you! Have a great holiday, Fangirly (r/r plaese :) )**

We arrive at the "stop" in a half hour. I was sitting quietly by Ava, waiting for the train to slow enough for it to be "safe" enough for us to jump.

When I was a little girl, I had always wondered about the Factions. We had a computer, I needed it for my homework after the library was bombed. I went online one day and researched which faction I'd like to be it. I had always wondered about the Dauntless ways. The other kids in my grade were mostly Dauntless, anyways, and I had wondered about them.

Ava looked like a ghost again.

"Ava, what's wrong?" I asked, one of the only ones talking.

"When I was little, I heard my mommy talking to my dad. She said, if I ever chose another faction, she wouldn't know what to do," (otherwise known as suicide in Amity or Abnegation.) she said.

A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it off. She was red now, knowing of the inevitable, and I teared up. I stood up and pushed my way to the private car, with no one in it. I sat down, and started to cry, rather loudly. How could I know? My mother always played so strong. She was the strongest person I knew...

I pushed the pain away, into a big bottle. I had been diagnosed with depression a few years ago, I had been taught how to cope with it. I was not accepted by other children in Abnegation because I had emotional problems. Every Tuesday morning, for an hour, I'd sit in the counselor's office and just talk. Ava knew; she accepted me and tried to cheer me up.

I ran through the train and heard silence. What was wrong? I looked out a window and saw a dead body, a girl, zoom past. She jumped off, and ended her suffering. I wished I was brave enough to do the same.


	8. Chapter 8

**I have terrible writer's block, but I managed to squeeze this out! **

We arrive at the "stop" in a half hour. I was sitting quietly by Ava, waiting for the train to slow enough for it to be "safe" enough for us to jump.

When I was a little girl, I had always wondered about the Factions. We had a computer, I needed it for my homework after the library was bombed. I went online one day and researched which faction I'd like to be in. I had always wondered about the Dauntless ways. The other kids in my grade were mostly Dauntless, anyways, and I had wondered about them.

Ava looked like a ghost again.

"Ava, what's wrong?" I asked, one of the only ones talking.

"When I was little, I heard my mommy talking to my dad. She said, if I ever chose another faction, she wouldn't know what to do," (otherwise known as suicide in Amity or Abnegation) she said.

"Same here. She- what am I suppost to do? Sorry- I," and she shooshed me, knowing what emotions I was capable of.

A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it off. She was red now, knowing of the inevitable, and I teared up. I stood up and pushed my way to the private car, with no one in it. I sat down, and started to cry, rather loudly. How could I know? My mother always played so strong. She was the strongest person I knew...

I pushed the pain away, into a big bottle inside of me. I had been diagnosed with depression a few years ago, so I had been taught how to cope with it. I was not accepted by other children in Abnegation because I had emotional problems. Every Tuesday morning, for an hour, I'd sit in the counselor's office and just talk. Ava knew; she accepted me and tried to cheer me up.

I ran through the train and heard silence. What was wrong? I looked out a window and saw a dead body, a girl, zoom past. She jumped off, and ended her suffering. I wished I was brave enough to do the same.

I shed a tear, a singluar tear, for her. I took a pen and wrote her name on my wrist; she was the first Dauntless girl who talked to me. The first person who _ever_ talked to me.

It was first grade, and I was sitting alone in the back.

"Hi! I'm Alana. I'm in the Dauntless," she said, making no sence. I laughed and corrected her.

"Anyways, I'm Abigail, the Abnegation girl. Will you sit by me?" I asked. I was assuming she was moving towards me anyways, with all her books in her crate scooted across the floor.

"Sure," she replyed. We talked for weeks, but then her mom pulled her out of our class because I was her best friend, and I was Abnegation. A "stiff".

That was the day that changed my life.


End file.
